the holiday has just begun.

big things going on in the life of Sullivan, Alexandra. seriously, though, despite intermittent bits of soul-wrenching over-analyzing (loving the hyphen today- i almost apologize)and crazed rocking out to the incomparable Jack White's album (i LOVE the man. too bad the edward scissorhands look doesn't quite work for me or i would be on the first plane to nashville to cuddle him up real nice), life is happening. it is always strange for me to feel like i belong somewhere and i finally feel like do belong. i cant even describe how wonderful it feels to drive home from the real home and feel like im going back to a place equally as mine. that, combined with the serious obsession i have with my students (i want them to be magically 10 years older and be my real friends), and the fact that i am able to make real, spiritual progression...i dont know, it is like im growing up. i made doctors appointments for crying out loud. doctors appointments. i know, i know i am 24 so i should have things actually figured out by now but it is like everyday i learn something new about myself and figure out something else that i want to add into my life. a wise person recently told me that he wanted to spend his time accomplishing things, not just flitting from party to party, restaurant to restaurant, adventure to adventure. i admit that i am an adventure-aholic. i want life to be vibrant, wild, and unique. but there is something to be said for methodically building, adding to one's life and adding value to the world around us. can we have both at once- spontaneous adventure and significant, meaningful "additions" to our life? i'd like to think yes, although i have yet to learn how to balance the two. i feel like i sacrifice things that are real for the "social" more often than not, but in my defense, i think i do it in order to find someone to be with for forever. how can you be super dedicated and committed to something when you actually need to get out there and find someone to marry? ew. i hate that i typed that word, "marry". reality has hit, ladies and gentlemen. big things, big things...it isnt easy being me in a lot of ways. mainly because i agonize over every decision, i think about everything too much, and i so desperately want things (in all aspects of my life) to work out for me that my mind gets in the way of my happiness. however, with all of these life changing things happening and this blessed break to help me just get out of the tedium that is big-girl life, i'm hoping that i can avoid the analyzing-paralysis and just get out and live life more fully. that is my hope for myself. oh, and just for posterity's sake, i got a Kate Spade 50s-style polka dot dress (with a large bow at the waist, reminds me of a carolina herrerra) and leopard print sling backs today for tomorrow. i'm going to look like a vision of modesty and hopefully retain my individual style;)

honestly the best time of the year.

i never realized how incredibly fast christmas time can fly by without actually having time to stop and feel the spirit of the season. i suppose as presents lose their meaning (crazy that i'm admitting this/feeling this. i am a serious fan of santa and material goods in general), i've wanted to come closer to the Savior during this month of december. on the 29th i have the opportunity to go through the temple for my first time and the idea of being close to Christ has been on my mind. it's crazy to me that even my simple little life can distract me from living in a true christmas fashion. i'm trying out a "25 days of christmas" list (and to make you feel better about yourself, i was going to start december 1 but got too lazy. see what i'm talking about?) in an attempt to savor the experiences that can be ours in a well-orchestrated christmas month. any ideas/tips on how to make the most of the season? i've seen my fair share of good times in december. again, been distracted from some of my goals (like that darn book that seems like it is never going to be written!), but distracted by fun things and fun people. through all of this socialization, i've realized a few things. a.) never underestimate a good dinner of ethnic cuisine. completely worth the bad breath. b.) small groups=better than big parties of acquaintances. unless you are looking to get down on the dance floor. in that case, the more the merrier. c.) being strong enough to carry a 185 pound man on my back is a good feeling. d.) there is so much wonder in the world, remember to keep it in your every day life. e.) honesty is the best policy. you like someone, tell them. you enjoy something someone does, tell them. you have amazing friends, you tell them how amazing they are. f.) dating is weird. but when the right people come along, it becomes relatively less weird. your welcome, for this knowledge bomb i just dropped.